I'm in love and don't want to losee it
9-May-24 5:35pm
#1 six
We've been dating for four months now I
She's here on a work visa from Mexico that expires in October. I'm deeply in love with her and I believe her to be the same , she's the first Girl I've dated that I've said I love you and I'm the first for her too . I've never felt this way about someone, they are always on my mind and I wanna be a better person because of her . We both at first said we didn't want to rush into anything because of her situation and agreed to try long distance when it comes . I'm in the midwest of the US and she will be returning to the northern part of Mexico. I know its early in the relationship but I don't want to lose her it's gonna be really hard .
She told me she doesn't want to leave but doesn't know if we are ready to start something together just yet. Which I get it's only been a few months, I feel a bit insane for how deeply I love her already. Just not sure what to do. So I've come to the wisdom of the gtz wizards
#1 six
We've been dating for four months now I
She's here on a work visa from Mexico that expires in October. I'm deeply in love with her and I believe her to be the same , she's the first Girl I've dated that I've said I love you and I'm the first for her too . I've never felt this way about someone, they are always on my mind and I wanna be a better person because of her . We both at first said we didn't want to rush into anything because of her situation and agreed to try long distance when it comes . I'm in the midwest of the US and she will be returning to the northern part of Mexico. I know its early in the relationship but I don't want to lose her it's gonna be really hard .
She told me she doesn't want to leave but doesn't know if we are ready to start something together just yet. Which I get it's only been a few months, I feel a bit insane for how deeply I love her already. Just not sure what to do. So I've come to the wisdom of the gtz wizards
9-May-24 6:24pm
#2 Lunar
How do I put this delicately? You sure it's love? And not "she needs a green card?"
Either way 4 months is negligible, not long enough for 'love'
#2 Lunar
How do I put this delicately? You sure it's love? And not "she needs a green card?"
Either way 4 months is negligible, not long enough for 'love'
9-May-24 6:42pm
#3 nonamesleft
Sounds nice. Nice to hear that you're happy :)
Realistically speaking, sometimes feelings don't stay the same. Give it more time. See if you still feel the same. It's difficult to give advice about emotions. Everyone has different things that they feel passionate about. For all we know, this girl is your perfect match, but for all we know she might not be. I think just give it more months, perhaps many months, before making any serious decisions.
But enjoy the experience nevertheless.
#3 nonamesleft
Sounds nice. Nice to hear that you're happy :)
Realistically speaking, sometimes feelings don't stay the same. Give it more time. See if you still feel the same. It's difficult to give advice about emotions. Everyone has different things that they feel passionate about. For all we know, this girl is your perfect match, but for all we know she might not be. I think just give it more months, perhaps many months, before making any serious decisions.
But enjoy the experience nevertheless.
9-May-24 6:54pm
#4 SwiftJAB
Glad to hear you've found someone that makes you feel this way. Make the most of this time and continue to get to know each other more. Try not to think about potential heartache, as that will only lead to self-preservation and not allowing you to be your true self with her. If the both of you want to make it work, you'll find a way. If it doesn't work out, remember the saying "tis better to have loved and lost than never love at all". This experience will teach you a lot about yourself and the type of person you may want to be partners with for the long haul.
In general, the infatuation stage of a relationship can last up to two years as there's a plethora of new things to learn about each other. Not that the feeling of love goes away, but the constant excitement tends to fade as you both get more familiar with each other. Reality sets in a bit more and some of the things you weren't thinking about start revealing themselves. You'll move into a state of mutual affection where it's less about the new things and more about the active choice to love each other and support each other, even when someone is a bit harder to love or you're both going through challenges.
My advice to you during this time, include her in the hobbies that you love. Jump into the hobbies that she loves. Talk about your religious and political views, how you think about money and your spending habits, and your hopes and dreams. Get to know how she views family, not just if she wants to have kids, but how she views her immediate and extended family. Give yourself time to get the information you need to see if the two of you have enough common ground that you can see yourself going through life together and really enjoying each other's company along the way.
Too many people try to become someone else or hide a part of who they are out of fear of losing the person they love. Be your true self, give yourself the chance to be really comfortable around her and ask the same of her. If there are areas that you're working on growing in, continue to work on those, but don't try to sell her on who you're going to be. Just let her observe and support you on your journey as you do the same.
At the end of it all, most people just want a partner that accepts them for who they are, will be an active participant in building a life together, and can have a lot of enjoyment and memories along the way.
#4 SwiftJAB
Glad to hear you've found someone that makes you feel this way. Make the most of this time and continue to get to know each other more. Try not to think about potential heartache, as that will only lead to self-preservation and not allowing you to be your true self with her. If the both of you want to make it work, you'll find a way. If it doesn't work out, remember the saying "tis better to have loved and lost than never love at all". This experience will teach you a lot about yourself and the type of person you may want to be partners with for the long haul.
In general, the infatuation stage of a relationship can last up to two years as there's a plethora of new things to learn about each other. Not that the feeling of love goes away, but the constant excitement tends to fade as you both get more familiar with each other. Reality sets in a bit more and some of the things you weren't thinking about start revealing themselves. You'll move into a state of mutual affection where it's less about the new things and more about the active choice to love each other and support each other, even when someone is a bit harder to love or you're both going through challenges.
My advice to you during this time, include her in the hobbies that you love. Jump into the hobbies that she loves. Talk about your religious and political views, how you think about money and your spending habits, and your hopes and dreams. Get to know how she views family, not just if she wants to have kids, but how she views her immediate and extended family. Give yourself time to get the information you need to see if the two of you have enough common ground that you can see yourself going through life together and really enjoying each other's company along the way.
Too many people try to become someone else or hide a part of who they are out of fear of losing the person they love. Be your true self, give yourself the chance to be really comfortable around her and ask the same of her. If there are areas that you're working on growing in, continue to work on those, but don't try to sell her on who you're going to be. Just let her observe and support you on your journey as you do the same.
At the end of it all, most people just want a partner that accepts them for who they are, will be an active participant in building a life together, and can have a lot of enjoyment and memories along the way.
9-May-24 7:20pm
#5 six
I'm sure it's not a green card , this is the first person I've been able to fully open up too and be me and feel accepted I feel at home with her . Time flies
#5 six
I'm sure it's not a green card , this is the first person I've been able to fully open up too and be me and feel accepted I feel at home with her . Time flies
9-May-24 7:22pm
#6 benstylus
SwiftJAB wrote:
My advice to you during this time, include her in the hobbies that you love.
Get her to sign up for GameTZ. If she still likes you after a month of us, she's a keeper.
#6 benstylus
SwiftJAB wrote:
My advice to you during this time, include her in the hobbies that you love.
Get her to sign up for GameTZ. If she still likes you after a month of us, she's a keeper.
9-May-24 7:28pm
#7 nonamesleft
benstylus wrote:
SwiftJAB wrote:> My advice to you during this time, include her in the hobbies that you love. Get her to sign up for GameTZ. If she still likes you after a month of us, she's a keeper.
Made me laugh out loud.
#7 nonamesleft
benstylus wrote:
SwiftJAB wrote:> My advice to you during this time, include her in the hobbies that you love. Get her to sign up for GameTZ. If she still likes you after a month of us, she's a keeper.
Made me laugh out loud.9-May-24 7:29pm
#8 nonamesleft
SwiftJAB wrote:
Glad to hear you've found someone that makes you feel this way. Make the most of this time and continue to get to know each other more. Try not to think about potential heartache, as that will only lead to self-preservation and not allowing you to be your true self with her. If the both of you want to make it work, you'll find a way. If it doesn't work out, remember the saying "tis better to have loved and lost than never love at all". This experience will teach you a lot about yourself and the type of person you may want to be partners with for the long haul. In general, the infatuation stage of a relationship can last up to two years as there's a plethora of new things to learn about each other. Not that the feeling of love goes away, but the constant excitement tends to fade as you both get more familiar with each other. Reality sets in a bit more and some of the things you weren't thinking about start revealing themselves. You'll move into a state of mutual affection where it's less about the new things and more about the active choice to love each other and support each other, even when someone is a bit harder to love or you're both going through challenges. My advice to you during this time, include her in the hobbies that you love. Jump into the hobbies that she loves. Talk about your religious and political views, how you think about money and your spending habits, and your hopes and dreams. Get to know how she views family, not just if she wants to have kids, but how she views her immediate and extended family. Give yourself time to get the information you need to see if the two of you have enough common ground that you can see yourself going through life together and really enjoying each other's company along the way. Too many people try to become someone else or hide a part of who they are out of fear of losing the person they love. Be your true self, give yourself the chance to be really comfortable around her and ask the same of her. If there are areas that you're working on growing in, continue to work on those, but don't try to sell her on who you're going to be. Just let her observe and support you on your journey as you do the same. At the end of it all, most people just want a partner that accepts them for who they are, will be an active participant in building a life together, and can have a lot of enjoyment and memories along the way.Well said. Very practical. Alot of great advice here.
#8 nonamesleft
SwiftJAB wrote:
Glad to hear you've found someone that makes you feel this way. Make the most of this time and continue to get to know each other more. Try not to think about potential heartache, as that will only lead to self-preservation and not allowing you to be your true self with her. If the both of you want to make it work, you'll find a way. If it doesn't work out, remember the saying "tis better to have loved and lost than never love at all". This experience will teach you a lot about yourself and the type of person you may want to be partners with for the long haul. In general, the infatuation stage of a relationship can last up to two years as there's a plethora of new things to learn about each other. Not that the feeling of love goes away, but the constant excitement tends to fade as you both get more familiar with each other. Reality sets in a bit more and some of the things you weren't thinking about start revealing themselves. You'll move into a state of mutual affection where it's less about the new things and more about the active choice to love each other and support each other, even when someone is a bit harder to love or you're both going through challenges. My advice to you during this time, include her in the hobbies that you love. Jump into the hobbies that she loves. Talk about your religious and political views, how you think about money and your spending habits, and your hopes and dreams. Get to know how she views family, not just if she wants to have kids, but how she views her immediate and extended family. Give yourself time to get the information you need to see if the two of you have enough common ground that you can see yourself going through life together and really enjoying each other's company along the way. Too many people try to become someone else or hide a part of who they are out of fear of losing the person they love. Be your true self, give yourself the chance to be really comfortable around her and ask the same of her. If there are areas that you're working on growing in, continue to work on those, but don't try to sell her on who you're going to be. Just let her observe and support you on your journey as you do the same. At the end of it all, most people just want a partner that accepts them for who they are, will be an active participant in building a life together, and can have a lot of enjoyment and memories along the way.Well said. Very practical. Alot of great advice here.
9-May-24 7:29pm
#9 six
She's meet my crazy ass family multiple times and wasn't scared away. I was hospitalized for a week she visited every day bringing me stuff. I know its early but she's a keeper in my eyes already
#9 six
She's meet my crazy ass family multiple times and wasn't scared away. I was hospitalized for a week she visited every day bringing me stuff. I know its early but she's a keeper in my eyes already
9-May-24 7:47pm
#10 SwiftJAB
six wrote:
She's meet my crazy ass family multiple times and wasn't scared away. I was hospitalized for a week she visited every day bringing me stuff. I know its early but she's a keeper in my eyes already
That's awesome man. You definitely want to continue dating someone you see as a keeper. Just don't jump to any permanent commitments so soon in a relationship. Definitely stay away from and significant financial help, like giving her large sums of money, co-signing on a loan, or renting a place together. Avoid trying to become some knight in shining armor. She's an adult and should be able to care for herself. That doesn't mean be a jerk and not care, but it's so important to have a partner in life that can take care of their basic needs. Use protection if you're sexually active. When she goes back to Mexico, if you're still feeling the same way, maybe go back with her for a couple of weeks. See her in her native element.
#10 SwiftJAB
six wrote:
She's meet my crazy ass family multiple times and wasn't scared away. I was hospitalized for a week she visited every day bringing me stuff. I know its early but she's a keeper in my eyes already
That's awesome man. You definitely want to continue dating someone you see as a keeper. Just don't jump to any permanent commitments so soon in a relationship. Definitely stay away from and significant financial help, like giving her large sums of money, co-signing on a loan, or renting a place together. Avoid trying to become some knight in shining armor. She's an adult and should be able to care for herself. That doesn't mean be a jerk and not care, but it's so important to have a partner in life that can take care of their basic needs. Use protection if you're sexually active. When she goes back to Mexico, if you're still feeling the same way, maybe go back with her for a couple of weeks. See her in her native element.
9-May-24 7:51pm
#11 six
SwiftJAB wrote:
six wrote:> She's meet my crazy ass family multiple times and wasn't scared away. I was hospitalized> for a week she visited every day bringing me stuff. I know its early but she's a> keeper in my eyes already That's awesome man. You definitely want to continue dating someone you see as a keeper. Just don't jump to any permanent commitments so soon in a relationship. Definitely stay away from and significant financial help, like giving her large sums of money, co-signing on a loan, or renting a place together. Avoid trying to become some knight in shining armor. She's an adult and should be able to care for herself. That doesn't mean be a jerk and not care, but it's so important to have a partner in life that can take care of their basic needs. Use protection if you're sexually active. When she goes back to Mexico, if you're still feeling the same way, maybe go back with her for a couple of weeks. See her in her native element.
Yeah I am protection and she sometimes pays for things it's not always me . She does care for herself . The relationship so far is pretty 50/50 . I've never had this before. We've been fully open with each other and seen alot of each other's faults and nothing changed .
#11 six
SwiftJAB wrote:
six wrote:> She's meet my crazy ass family multiple times and wasn't scared away. I was hospitalized> for a week she visited every day bringing me stuff. I know its early but she's a> keeper in my eyes already That's awesome man. You definitely want to continue dating someone you see as a keeper. Just don't jump to any permanent commitments so soon in a relationship. Definitely stay away from and significant financial help, like giving her large sums of money, co-signing on a loan, or renting a place together. Avoid trying to become some knight in shining armor. She's an adult and should be able to care for herself. That doesn't mean be a jerk and not care, but it's so important to have a partner in life that can take care of their basic needs. Use protection if you're sexually active. When she goes back to Mexico, if you're still feeling the same way, maybe go back with her for a couple of weeks. See her in her native element.
Yeah I am protection and she sometimes pays for things it's not always me . She does care for herself . The relationship so far is pretty 50/50 . I've never had this before. We've been fully open with each other and seen alot of each other's faults and nothing changed .
9-May-24 9:15pm
#15 SwiftJAB
six wrote:
Should I tell her I'm worried
With what little information I have, I think you need to process things a bit more to get a better perspective of things. You're 5 months away from this visa expiration. That's almost the same amount of time you've been together. Give it more time. Have fun. Don't worry about tomorrow and help her to not worry about it either.
#15 SwiftJAB
six wrote:
Should I tell her I'm worried
With what little information I have, I think you need to process things a bit more to get a better perspective of things. You're 5 months away from this visa expiration. That's almost the same amount of time you've been together. Give it more time. Have fun. Don't worry about tomorrow and help her to not worry about it either.
9-May-24 10:16pm
#16 Johnny
six wrote:
Technos wrote:> Have you fudgeed her? I have
Whatever you do, don’t be those idiots on 90 day fiancé who ignore any red flags. If anything concerning comes up, talk to a trusted friend who you know likes her. Get their honest opinion about the concern.
Don’t ask family who love her. They’re likely to push one way or the other to protect you.
A friend. A real life friend you see often.
#16 Johnny
six wrote:
Technos wrote:> Have you fudgeed her? I have
Whatever you do, don’t be those idiots on 90 day fiancé who ignore any red flags. If anything concerning comes up, talk to a trusted friend who you know likes her. Get their honest opinion about the concern.
Don’t ask family who love her. They’re likely to push one way or the other to protect you.
A friend. A real life friend you see often.
9-May-24 10:54pm
#17 six
I know , her only red flag is her visa situation, I told her I was scared about losing her but she told me she's scared too but knows we can make it work. She doesn't want to rush marriage into Marriage . She's gonna get her tourist visa once her work visa expires.
#17 six
I know , her only red flag is her visa situation, I told her I was scared about losing her but she told me she's scared too but knows we can make it work. She doesn't want to rush marriage into Marriage . She's gonna get her tourist visa once her work visa expires.
10-May-24 8:57am
#20 six
Well I got drunk last night and told her how I felt, she told me she's scared too about it knows we can make it work .I'm gonna try and do what you guys said about just enjoying it know don't worry on where it's going just focus on the journey .
#20 six
Well I got drunk last night and told her how I felt, she told me she's scared too about it knows we can make it work .I'm gonna try and do what you guys said about just enjoying it know don't worry on where it's going just focus on the journey .
10-May-24 9:57am
#21 nonamesleft
six wrote:
Well I got drunk last night and told her how I felt, she told me she's scared too about it knows we can make it work .I'm gonna try and do what you guys said about just enjoying it know don't worry on where it's going just focus on the journey .You said it yourself. Sometimes it's about the journey, not the destination. Just try to enjoy it.
#21 nonamesleft
six wrote:
Well I got drunk last night and told her how I felt, she told me she's scared too about it knows we can make it work .I'm gonna try and do what you guys said about just enjoying it know don't worry on where it's going just focus on the journey .You said it yourself. Sometimes it's about the journey, not the destination. Just try to enjoy it.
I'm in love and don't want to losee it