Secret Satan 2024! Start weeping, because it's time to play!
23-Feb-24 10:56am
#1 benstylus
We're getting close to March which means 1 month away from April Fool's Day.
Who all is interested in doing a Secret Satan gift exchange this year?
If you haven't heard of it before, it's like Secret Santa except the aim is to get someone a game they will absolutely hate. Then we all play it on April 1st and share our misery (or surprise joy).
Going to put a $10 price charting value minimum like last year. In fact, last year's rules worked pretty well so I'll keep them the same:
Post a message saying you're in, or send me a PM and I'll get you on the list! If we get at least 8 participants (we had 10 last year) it's a go!
We'll get everyone assigned in the first week or so of March, and then everyone will have 2-3 weeks to find and send something to their target.
As a reminder, one of the survey questions will be whether you are uncomfortable being paired with any of the other participants. That way if there is a certain user (or multiple users) on the site, you can privately let me know. I will keep that request confidential and make sure that they won't be your Satan.
Past years:
2023 https://m.gametz.com...
2022 https://m.gametz.com...
This year's group:
benstylus - Homie Rollerz
Bleed_DukeBlue - Alex Kidd in Miracle World DX
brian9824 - Flatout 3: Chaos & Destruction
citizen_zane - Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly
Frank - Charlie's Angels
Gypsy - Magic: The Gathering - BattleMage
no metacritic score
Heavyd814life - Agony
Kommie - Hunt Down The Freeman no metacritic listing
Oduomega - Yoda Stories (Game Boy Color) This version doesn't even have a metacritic listing
ryanflucas - King's Knight
no metacritic listing
sailorneorune - Spice World, Smurf Racer , Sesame Street Sports , Deal or No Deal Special Edition , and The Dukes of Hazzard: The Return of the General Lee 
SupremeSarna - Rollerblade Racer and Mickey’s Safari in Letterland no metacritic listings
Didn't play but needs an invite next year
tigg
#1 benstylus
We're getting close to March which means 1 month away from April Fool's Day.
Who all is interested in doing a Secret Satan gift exchange this year?
If you haven't heard of it before, it's like Secret Santa except the aim is to get someone a game they will absolutely hate. Then we all play it on April 1st and share our misery (or surprise joy).
Going to put a $10 price charting value minimum like last year. In fact, last year's rules worked pretty well so I'll keep them the same:
| Your game must have a minimum value of $10 based on Price charting for a game in similar condition. (If it's on the cusp, take a screenshot for proof). That makes things interesting so that we don't just buy the cheapest craptiest game in the gamestop bargain bin. Note you don't necessarily have to pay $10, that just needs to be its pricecharting value. If you have a poop game already that fits the bill, by all means feel free to use it You can send multiple games if you want, but at least one of them must individually meet that $10 threshold. (So a $10 game plus a $2 bonus game is fine, but sending five $2 games by themselves is not). Creativity in packaging or sending bonus items may be fun and hilarious, but is by no means required. If you do receive something creative, please take pics and share, it will be more fun for all of us. |
Post a message saying you're in, or send me a PM and I'll get you on the list! If we get at least 8 participants (we had 10 last year) it's a go!
We'll get everyone assigned in the first week or so of March, and then everyone will have 2-3 weeks to find and send something to their target.
As a reminder, one of the survey questions will be whether you are uncomfortable being paired with any of the other participants. That way if there is a certain user (or multiple users) on the site, you can privately let me know. I will keep that request confidential and make sure that they won't be your Satan.
Past years:
2023 https://m.gametz.com...
2022 https://m.gametz.com...
This year's group:
benstylus - Homie Rollerz
Bleed_DukeBlue - Alex Kidd in Miracle World DX
brian9824 - Flatout 3: Chaos & Destruction
citizen_zane - Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly
Frank - Charlie's Angels
Gypsy - Magic: The Gathering - BattleMage
no metacritic scoreHeavyd814life - Agony
Kommie - Hunt Down The Freeman
no metacritic listingOduomega - Yoda Stories (Game Boy Color) This version doesn't even have a metacritic listing
ryanflucas - King's Knight
no metacritic listingsailorneorune - Spice World
, Smurf Racer , Sesame Street Sports , Deal or No Deal Special Edition , and The Dukes of Hazzard: The Return of the General Lee SupremeSarna - Rollerblade Racer
and Mickey’s Safari in Letterland no metacritic listingsDidn't play but needs an invite next year
tigg
9-Mar-24 4:34am
#61 benstylus
Frank wrote:
benstylus wrote:> Maybe one year we should do a high roller secret Satan. Get some NES Chubby Cherub> and Game Boy Shaq Fu up in here> > Turn Kusoge into Kusogold> > You, my friend, would be getting a sealed copy of E.T. and must be forced to open the shrink wrap and play it.
Note to self: sell my 2600 before running high roller secret Satan.
Frank decides to also send a 2600 console because high roller
Well poo
#61 benstylus
Frank wrote:
benstylus wrote:> Maybe one year we should do a high roller secret Satan. Get some NES Chubby Cherub> and Game Boy Shaq Fu up in here> > Turn Kusoge into Kusogold> > You, my friend, would be getting a sealed copy of E.T. and must be forced to open the shrink wrap and play it.
Note to self: sell my 2600 before running high roller secret Satan.
Frank decides to also send a 2600 console because high roller
Well poo
9-Mar-24 4:45am
#62 benstylus
[GAME] is a wasted effort... My advice? Put this game in a landfill far, far away and leave it there.
image
You know you're in for it when IGN gives it less than a 7
#62 benstylus
[GAME] is a wasted effort... My advice? Put this game in a landfill far, far away and leave it there.
image
You know you're in for it when IGN gives it less than a 7
9-Mar-24 7:50am
#63 citizen_zane
#63 citizen_zane
| "This game is, simply, bad, in just about every way, from the uncomplicated, dated control system to the limited play boundaries surrounded by invisible walls, the poor camera, and unsatisfying play mechanics and the sometimes-disturbing graphics." |
9-Mar-24 8:26am
#64 Gypsy
"The gameplay mechanics are chaotic, at best, the AI is plain dumb, the level-design is muddled, the scenario is boring… Well, there’s nothing to save here."
#64 Gypsy
"The gameplay mechanics are chaotic, at best, the AI is plain dumb, the level-design is muddled, the scenario is boring… Well, there’s nothing to save here."
9-Mar-24 10:15am
#65 Frank
benstylus wrote:
Frank wrote:> benstylus wrote: |>> Maybe one year we should do a high roller secret Satan. Get some NES Chubby Cherub |>> and Game Boy Shaq Fu up in here |>> |>> Turn Kusoge into Kusogold |>> |>> > You, my friend, would be getting a sealed copy of E.T. and must be forced to open> the shrink wrap and play it. Note to self: sell my 2600 before running high roller secret Satan. Frank decides to also send a 2600 console because high roller Well poo
Don't worry I have a spare
#65 Frank
benstylus wrote:
Frank wrote:> benstylus wrote: |>> Maybe one year we should do a high roller secret Satan. Get some NES Chubby Cherub |>> and Game Boy Shaq Fu up in here |>> |>> Turn Kusoge into Kusogold |>> |>> > You, my friend, would be getting a sealed copy of E.T. and must be forced to open> the shrink wrap and play it. Note to self: sell my 2600 before running high roller secret Satan. Frank decides to also send a 2600 console because high roller Well poo
Don't worry I have a spare
9-Mar-24 1:21pm
#66 benstylus
Frank wrote:
benstylus wrote:> Frank wrote: |>> benstylus wrote:> |>> Maybe one year we should do a high roller secret Satan. Get some NES Chubby> Cherub> |>> and Game Boy Shaq Fu up in here> |>> > |>> Turn Kusoge into Kusogold> |>> > |>> |>> You, my friend, would be getting a sealed copy of E.T. and must be forced to open |>> the shrink wrap and play it. > > Note to self: sell my 2600 before running high roller secret Satan. > > Frank decides to also send a 2600 console because high roller> > Well poo > > > Don't worry I have a spare
Will just have to sell my TV too then
#66 benstylus
Frank wrote:
benstylus wrote:> Frank wrote: |>> benstylus wrote:> |>> Maybe one year we should do a high roller secret Satan. Get some NES Chubby> Cherub> |>> and Game Boy Shaq Fu up in here> |>> > |>> Turn Kusoge into Kusogold> |>> > |>> |>> You, my friend, would be getting a sealed copy of E.T. and must be forced to open |>> the shrink wrap and play it. > > Note to self: sell my 2600 before running high roller secret Satan. > > Frank decides to also send a 2600 console because high roller> > Well poo > > > Don't worry I have a spare
Will just have to sell my TV too then
9-Mar-24 2:03pm
#67 SupremeSarna
#67 SupremeSarna
| This game feels like some executives were out drinking one night and came up with a hairbrained idea for a video game. They then took it to the design team and just gave them a bunch of random ideas they had scribbled on the back of some cocktail napkins. The development team didn't really understand what the executives were hoping for and were too embarrassed to ask any questions. Plus, they didn't have the technical skills to execute it anyway, so they just phoned in the whole project to get the executives off their back... Final Score: 3/10 (Awful) |
10-Mar-24 3:41am
#68 SupremeSarna
May I name a few games I had to pass up because they didn't meet the price requirement? Don't worry, you won't be able to tell who I'm assigned to based on the list--it's pretty varied system-wise.
#68 SupremeSarna
May I name a few games I had to pass up because they didn't meet the price requirement? Don't worry, you won't be able to tell who I'm assigned to based on the list--it's pretty varied system-wise.
10-Mar-24 7:56am
#70 Gypsy
SupremeSarna wrote:
May I name a few games I had to pass up because they didn't meet the price requirement? Don't worry, you won't be able to tell who I'm assigned to based on the list--it's pretty varied system-wise.
Sounds fun. Honestly the price requirement does make this a bit trickier. I understand the reasoning behind it but a lot of AMAZING KUSOGE is appropriately priced because no one wants that crap.
Largo Winch might be the worst game I've ever played, and it's a sub $5 PS1 game on pricecharting even now...
#70 Gypsy
SupremeSarna wrote:
May I name a few games I had to pass up because they didn't meet the price requirement? Don't worry, you won't be able to tell who I'm assigned to based on the list--it's pretty varied system-wise.
Sounds fun. Honestly the price requirement does make this a bit trickier. I understand the reasoning behind it but a lot of AMAZING KUSOGE is appropriately priced because no one wants that crap.
Largo Winch might be the worst game I've ever played, and it's a sub $5 PS1 game on pricecharting even now...
10-Mar-24 8:52am
#71 benstylus
Sadly, there is no reason for anyone to play through [GAME]. The storyline is one that [LICENSED IP] fans already know; the gameplay is below that of Quest for Camelot; and better graphics and sound exist in 20-year-old Colecovision games. Furthermore, the game's password save system requires you to reach the end of a level before it offers you the ability to rejoin the quest, almost forcing a person to play the game. If [PUBLISHER], [DEVELOPER], and [IP OWNER] are lucky, people will forget this stinker quickly. [GAME] is quite possibly the worst [LICENSED IP] video game ever produced.
~Frank Provo, GameSpot.com reviewer
image
Now I want to check out Quest for Camelot LOL
#71 benstylus
Sadly, there is no reason for anyone to play through [GAME]. The storyline is one that [LICENSED IP] fans already know; the gameplay is below that of Quest for Camelot; and better graphics and sound exist in 20-year-old Colecovision games. Furthermore, the game's password save system requires you to reach the end of a level before it offers you the ability to rejoin the quest, almost forcing a person to play the game. If [PUBLISHER], [DEVELOPER], and [IP OWNER] are lucky, people will forget this stinker quickly. [GAME] is quite possibly the worst [LICENSED IP] video game ever produced.
~Frank Provo, GameSpot.com reviewer
image
Now I want to check out Quest for Camelot LOL
10-Mar-24 8:54am
#72 benstylus
SupremeSarna wrote:
May I name a few games I had to pass up because they didn't meet the price requirement? Don't worry, you won't be able to tell who I'm assigned to based on the list--it's pretty varied system-wise.
If it makes you happy and doesn't spoil the fun feel free
#72 benstylus
SupremeSarna wrote:
May I name a few games I had to pass up because they didn't meet the price requirement? Don't worry, you won't be able to tell who I'm assigned to based on the list--it's pretty varied system-wise.
If it makes you happy and doesn't spoil the fun feel free
10-Mar-24 3:18pm
#73 citizen_zane
#73 citizen_zane
| "While xxxxxxxx is a horrifically terrible experience, at least it's extremely short. What seems like a decade of isolation and cruelty is more like two and a half hours." |
11-Mar-24 2:22am
#74 SupremeSarna
Bad news: I've been testing my NES throughout the day, and it is seriously on the fritz. It's a pain getting the image to display at all, and after about 15 minutes of play, the color goes and everything rapidly turns to static.
So if my Secret Satan bought me an NES game, I may not be able to play it at all.
EDIT: Scratch that. I tried my NES one more time, and now it’s working as well as ever. To prove it, I beat Super Mario Bros.
[imgt w=1536 h=2048]https://pbs.twimg.co...[/imgt]
So all my consoles are still good!
#74 SupremeSarna
Bad news: I've been testing my NES throughout the day, and it is seriously on the fritz. It's a pain getting the image to display at all, and after about 15 minutes of play, the color goes and everything rapidly turns to static.
So if my Secret Satan bought me an NES game, I may not be able to play it at all.
EDIT: Scratch that. I tried my NES one more time, and now it’s working as well as ever. To prove it, I beat Super Mario Bros.
[imgt w=1536 h=2048]https://pbs.twimg.co...[/imgt]
So all my consoles are still good!
11-Mar-24 8:00am
#75 citizen_zane
The game that I bought arrives today. I can't wait to try it out!
#75 citizen_zane
The game that I bought arrives today. I can't wait to try it out!
| "Abysmal in every way. The only possible reason there could be for purchasing it is to give as a present to a particularly hated relative - but that might be considered a little harsh." |
11-Mar-24 1:06pm
#76 benstylus
I'm out of review sites. I could grab another review or two from Amazon, but everyone else reviewed the PC version (which is quite different) instead of this port.
#76 benstylus
I'm out of review sites. I could grab another review or two from Amazon, but everyone else reviewed the PC version (which is quite different) instead of this port.
11-Mar-24 7:11pm
#77 SupremeSarna
benstylus wrote:
I'm out of review sites. I could grab another review or two from Amazon, but everyone else reviewed the PC version (which is quite different) instead of this port.
Why not write one yourself based on your knowledge of the game? You have a way with words and irreverent snark, so I'm sure it would be fire.
#77 SupremeSarna
benstylus wrote:
I'm out of review sites. I could grab another review or two from Amazon, but everyone else reviewed the PC version (which is quite different) instead of this port.
Why not write one yourself based on your knowledge of the game? You have a way with words and irreverent snark, so I'm sure it would be fire.
11-Mar-24 7:24pm
#78 SupremeSarna
There were plenty of games I wished I could send, but did not meet the price threshold. Some of the best include:
The Cat in the Hat (based on the horrific Mike Myers movie--sounds peachy!)
Star Wars: Jar Jar's Journey
(an educational Phantom Menace game for young children)
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
(the most uninspired, dreary beat'em-up you'll find)
Shrek
(the funniest SM64 clone you'll find)
Men in Black: The Series
(easily the worst 2D action game I've played first-hand)
Drawn to Life: The Next Chapter
(a pitifully poor entry in a prolific, respected series)
There are many others, but I don't want to eliminate too many possibilities.
#78 SupremeSarna
There were plenty of games I wished I could send, but did not meet the price threshold. Some of the best include:
The Cat in the Hat
(based on the horrific Mike Myers movie--sounds peachy!)Star Wars: Jar Jar's Journey
(an educational Phantom Menace game for young children)Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
(the most uninspired, dreary beat'em-up you'll find)Shrek
(the funniest SM64 clone you'll find)Men in Black: The Series
(easily the worst 2D action game I've played first-hand)Drawn to Life: The Next Chapter
(a pitifully poor entry in a prolific, respected series)There are many others, but I don't want to eliminate too many possibilities.
11-Mar-24 8:45pm
#80 Frank
benstylus wrote:
Frank wrote:> benstylus wrote: |>> Frank wrote:> |>> benstylus wrote: |>> |>> Maybe one year we should do a high roller secret Satan. Get some NES Chubby |>> Cherub |>> |>> and Game Boy Shaq Fu up in here |>> |>> |>> |>> Turn Kusoge into Kusogold |>> |>> |>> |>> > |>> You, my friend, would be getting a sealed copy of E.T. and must be forced to> open> |>> the shrink wrap and play it. |>> |>> Note to self: sell my 2600 before running high roller secret Satan. |>> |>> Frank decides to also send a 2600 console because high roller |>> |>> Well poo |>> |>> |>> > > Don't worry I have a spare > Will just have to sell my TV too then
I haven't tested this, but in theory, I bet I could get my portable GameCube screen working on a 2600
#80 Frank
benstylus wrote:
Frank wrote:> benstylus wrote: |>> Frank wrote:> |>> benstylus wrote: |>> |>> Maybe one year we should do a high roller secret Satan. Get some NES Chubby |>> Cherub |>> |>> and Game Boy Shaq Fu up in here |>> |>> |>> |>> Turn Kusoge into Kusogold |>> |>> |>> |>> > |>> You, my friend, would be getting a sealed copy of E.T. and must be forced to> open> |>> the shrink wrap and play it. |>> |>> Note to self: sell my 2600 before running high roller secret Satan. |>> |>> Frank decides to also send a 2600 console because high roller |>> |>> Well poo |>> |>> |>> > > Don't worry I have a spare
> Will just have to sell my TV too thenI haven't tested this, but in theory, I bet I could get my portable GameCube screen working on a 2600
11-Mar-24 11:01pm
#81 citizen_zane
Well, I've tried the game that I got for my victim. The good news is that they won't be punished nearly as much as benstylus was last year. The bad news is that this game still royally blows.
#81 citizen_zane
Well, I've tried the game that I got for my victim. The good news is that they won't be punished nearly as much as benstylus was last year. The bad news is that this game still royally blows.
Secret Satan 2024! Start weeping, because it's time to play!